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Mini Freakout of the Week

OMG you guys…. I’m frantic over here and really trying not to be.

By the time you read this, I’ll be sitting in the commons area of my old high school for Jayden’s freshman orientation. MY CHILD IS GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL. It seems like I just got out of high school a few months ago or something.

Those of you who don’t have kids may think I’m being silly, but it’s really traumatic for me to realize that Jayden is a teenager. I look back at pictures of him when he was three and it’s like my mom brain still sees him at that size, with that voice, doing the same things he did as a toddler. He was the cutest kid on the planet – of course I still think he’s cute, but he’s definitely in his awkward stage right now – and was always so well-behaved I almost felt bad. (Because let’s be honest. Some of my friends’ kids acted like crazed lunatics at three.) See? Look how cute he was!

I also carry a lot of guilt because I feel like I missed out on so much of Jayden’s early years. I was in school until he was 7 years old, then I spent the next 6 1/2 years working way too many hours for not enough pay. I remember things like the year I didn’t take him trick or treating because I was writing a paper for grad school, or the times I told him “Not right now” when he wanted to play a board game because I was cleaning or working. And you have no idea how much I wish I could rewind and do nothing but play with him.

It’s kind of funny. Now I work from home and could spend all kinds of time with him, but he’s locked in his room playing Minecraft and watching YouTube videos. There’s a very small window where kids want to hang out with their parents, and I became self-employed too late to catch it. And now he’s going to high school and my role has changed from beloved mom to chauffeur, short order cook, and source of eyerolls and sighs.

Anyway, that’s what I’m doing today – reflecting on the past and trying not to turn into a sobbing mess in front of Jayden’s classmates. Would appreciate good thoughts/karma and hope you all have a great weekend!

About Andrea Whitmer

Andrea is a freelance web developer and mom trying to maintain a sense of humor in an otherwise chaotic world. She blogs in hopes of helping others avoid the same mistakes she made in the past. Join in the discussion here on So Over This, or connect on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, or Google Plus. You can also subscribe to new posts via RSS so you never miss out!


  1. Aww, your baby is growing up. You must be so proud of him.

  2. Tristan is a few months younger (and a grade behind Jayden), but I know exactly what you mean. When we're disagreeing about something, his favorite phrase is "I'm not saying you're wrong, dad, but…….." Which his respectful way (at least he's trying to be respectful) of saying "You're an effen idiot, now let me tell you how this works."

  3. I would be freaking out also! Hope the orientation goes great!

  4. After college though, they turn back around and want to visit/see you! Trust me, I did the same thing to my mom. She used to work so many hours when I was a kid that I always sat in front of a television without her, and got used to it even when she worked from home to the point where we never hung out.

    Now that I’m older though, I try to visit her as often as possible (she moved 2 hours away from me – thanks, mom!) and we hang out as much as possible — even if it’s me staring at her as she gambles. haha.

  5. With 4 kids, I have been where you are 4 times over and,let me tell you, it didn't get any easier for me. I was always highly emotional and secretly crying behind my sunglasses LOL I think, as mothers, we all go through it and we always wish that we had done certain things differently. Like you, I wish I had been more aware of what I was doing at the time …. instead of grad school in your case, I was hoarding and spending the money that we should've used to take memorable trips together. I moved us into a big house that we absolutely did not need and which was a horrible financial drain. I think about it all the time. Anyway, we have to always keep moving forward ~ progress is normal and healthy.

    Stay strong! Just wait until he gets married LOL

  6. Aww hon… I was right there last year. My baby girl made it through her first year (barely), and so did I (by an even thinner margin).

    High school, in a lot of ways, sucks, but hopefully he'll find his niche. And he'll continue to learn and grow and make you proud in all new ways.

    Good luck to you both!

  7. You're going to be fine, Andrea! Just breathe, and go make something. You're allowed to freak out, too, just not in front of the kid 😉

  8. The urge for a do-over is part of the parenting experience, as is the freaking out when faced with the reality that our kids are growing up faster than we can truly comprehend. As for the orientation, enjoy the moment. This is a milestone and a unique experience in your lives; make the most of it. And I hope you brought an adequate supply of kleenex!

  9. I hope the orientation goes well! And I don't think you missed out on the window-I remember haning out with my parents in high school. It wasn't often but it did happen!

  10. Pretty soon he'll be coming home at noon, hungover from the night before. High fives to that!

  11. What a good-looking kid! You guys will both get through this. He is lucky to have such a loving mama (whether he wants to hang out with you or not!)

  12. Does he read your blog? High school is probably really interesting from a parent’s standpoint but I am glad that is at least 20 years away! Good luck… hopefully you don’t need it though.

  13. If it makes you feel any better I am going to completely loose it on Wednesday, hopefully not until I'm driving away. My baby, of four, is going to start Kindergarten and our oldest son is going to be a Junior in college! I have been crying all Summer! My husband even took the entire first day of school off work to be with me! I have been a SAHM since my oldest daughter was 7 months old (she's 10 now) and I still feel like I missed out by saying not right now or putting other things before them. It's mommy guilt. It's how you feel looking back on time, NOT how your son feels. High School goes by so fast. Enjoy every minute of it.

  14. Sometimes it's good to have reminders like this to go play with my little ones. He'll be fine. You'll be fine. High School will have fun, together moments for the two of you.

  15. FarrahMichelle says

    Oh My goodness, I think we have the same child!! Alexander plays minecraft too, and he sits on the couch, which now has an Alexander sized butt dent in , either playing that game or on you tube or on netflix or on his IPod and possibly all of that at the same time!! I remember when he wanted me to play pokemon with him and I just couldn't get the rules so I would make excuses not to :/ Now I am the one cuddling up next to him on the couch, and then he puts his pitt in my face and ….. I know what you mean:) Especially when you only have one child. UGH, why do they have to grow up so fast!

  16. I think all parents have this guilt. My oldest is only 5 and I have this guilt already. He wont remember the times you couldn’t play. He will remember that you provided for him and took great care of him.

  17. I think when he gets over the parents are the stupidest people on earth phase he will appreciate how hard you have worked to get an education and find a career. I am freaking out about my little one starting kindergarten, so I can't imaging high school!

  18. Times, they are a changin'! (hug)

  19. Awww, he was a cutie! It'll be okay. My mother-in-law feels the same way sometimes when she looks at Mr. BFS but then she says that she loves seeing him accomplish things now as an adult too…so it'll just be mixed emotions from here on out. Sorry. 🙁

  20. I hated high school. Yuck. I am not looking forward to my children getting to that age; there is such a delicate balance in giving them freedom to grow but not too much freedom!

  21. He's is growing in to a handsome young man, keep the girls away from him 🙂 from now on

  22. I went to a hybrid high school and it was great. I was able to get a few college credits during high school so now i only have one year at Community College!

  23. myjourneytomillions says

    "There’s a very small window where kids want to hang out with their parents, and I became self-employed too late to catch it. And now he’s going to high school and my role has changed from beloved mom to chauffeur, short order cook, and source of eyerolls and sighs."

    If he is a good kid and he sounds like it…one day he'll wake up and really really appreciate those teen years. Maybe even more so than the earlier stuff he doesn't remember.

    I think my dad is having a hard time right now, since he worked A LOT from 0 to 12 when I was growing up and now that I have kid he is obsessed with being there. I think he is having the same guilt (which isn't necessarily needed). But that is my dime store psych evaluation lol

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