Back in June I wrote a post about my Comcast woes. Basically, for most of 2012 I’ve had ongoing issues with my internet connection. No matter what I do or how many times I call, Comcast seems unwilling to fix the problem. So I get to pay $60 a month for an intermittent connection with download speeds that are so ridiculously slow I can’t even transfer files half the time.
Since June, I have logged about eleventy billion calls to customer service. Each time, we begin with a rundown of all the dumbass questions they have to ask, like whether my home has electricity and which cord might be loose on the modem. Then they schedule a tech to come to my home and
waste my time troubleshoot the issue.
Tech Visits are Fun!
My July tech immediately recognized that the issue is in the lines and has nothing to do with my equipment. He scheduled a maintenance escalation visit, which he said would occur within 48 hours and would lead to an actual solution. Except the maintenance person never came. And, as a bonus, the maintenance supervisor (who I know personally) marked the ticket as closed because “customer was not home.” Um, I’m pretty sure I never leave my house, dude.
The tech who came out in August was probably my favorite ever. He was sent to bring one of Comcast’s modems because clearly the one I purchased myself is the problem. He came in the house, unhooked my modem and plugged up his (identical) modem, ran a speed test, and decided he needed to test a different type of modem because my download speeds were still terrible. I pulled out the other 3 modems I’ve bought in an effort to solve the issue and told him to take his pick. He sighed, told me there was nothing he could do because it’s a problem with the lines, and suggested that I move. Yes. That was his answer. Thanks, Comcast!
This month’s tech visit came the day before I left for the Financial Blogger Conference. You know, because I didn’t need to pack or anything. This guy was a contractor and not a Comcast employee, so he was a little more forthcoming. According to him, the infrastructure here is extremely outdated and important people at Comcast are aware, but it’s a small town in the middle of nowhere so no one cares. My best bet is to call every week and bug the piss out of them until something happens. He also referred the issue to maintenance, and the ticket was closed again without a resolution.
I’m Sick of This Crap
Last night I attempted to stream Happy Gilmore since my son is finally old enough to understand why it’s the best movie ever. We waited about 30 minutes for the movie to start, then made it to 4:21 before the movie stopped. (Funny enough, that’s the part where Adam Sandler’s character is going through the list of all the jobs he’s had and says he was a plumber. We got to spend 25 minutes staring at Adam Sandler’s bare ass frozen on the screen.)
The movie finally started again, went to about 12:05, and stopped again. After an hour it still wouldn’t play and hadn’t loaded at all. I pulled out my phone to run a test on my transfer speeds. I was getting 0.68 Mpbs down and 0.87 Mbps up. For reference, those numbers should be around 15 and 3, respectively.
So I called Comcast and, through some fluke in the system, got a competent support person who actually took five seconds to look through my history. “You’ve been dealing with this for way too long,” he told me. Really? No shit!
After looking through months and months of phone calls and notes, the guy decided to escalate my issue to a supervisor. By doing so, he promised that someone would call me back and that something would happen. Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. But I humored him and gave him all the information he needed.
This morning a supervisor actually called. I had just dropped Jayden off at school and nearly ran off the road in shock. “I see that your issue is ongoing,” she said. “Your area is in a Stage Two outage right now, though, so that’s why your speeds are so slow.”
“Let me ask you something,” I responded. “Can you tell me when there’s NOT a Stage Two outage in my area? Because I hear that every single time I call.”
She exhaled and started typing away. A few seconds later she said, “Holy crap, you’re right.”
So now she’s off to “do some research” and is supposed to call me back. I’m not very optimistic that she will, nor do I hold out a lot of hope for a resolution. In the meantime, I get to do fun things like drive to McDonald’s or my parents’ house to transfer files for work. I can’t stream movies over my slow connection. Jayden gets kicked off Minecraft every five minutes when the connection decides to drop.
This post really has no point other than to reiterate the fact that Comcast sucks and allow me to keep track of the (lack of) progress. My goal is to become so annoying that someone does something about this, but I’m not holding my breath. Moving is starting to sound like a really good idea – not a realistic idea, but a nice fantasy nonetheless.