My name is Andrea, and I hate grocery shopping. Like really hate it.
If you go back through the 18 months of blog posts I’ve written here, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned my crappy relationship with food shopping about 6 billion times. For those who might not want to spend hours reading my old posts (AKA all of you), here are the facts:
- I live in a tiny rural town where Walmart is basically the only option for buying groceries.
- At one point in the not-so-distant past, I was almost too poor to shop at Walmart. Unfortunately that’s no longer the case.
- You cannot visit a small town Walmart without seeing 50 people you know. This number increases in direct proportion to how awful you look at the time.
- I suck at cooking (though I’m getting better!)
- I have a history of poor spending habits and even grocery shopping can be a trigger.
- I refuse to use coupons.
- As a former psychotherapist, I have an uncanny knack for attracting crazy people in Walmart. Like the woman who was dressed in a full pirate costume (this was just a few weeks ago) and buying nothing but cat food. Or the lady who I’m pretty sure was schizophrenic because she followed me around telling me about the pending apocalypse for an hour, with detailed evidence that made no sense. Oh yeah.
With all that in mind, I finally broke down and bought groceries yesterday (because my son started that annoying OMG WE HAVE NOTHING TO EAT IN THIS HOUSE thing again). I guess it’s a teenage boy’s job to eat 14.2 times per day; I don’t know. But I wanted to be nice since it was his birthday, so I forced myself to drive to Walmart. While I was there, I started thinking about all the so-called wisdom I’ve read and heard about grocery shopping, and how I pretty much don’t follow any of it.
My Grocery Shopping Confessions
1. I don’t use coupons.
I already mentioned this, but I thought I’d bring it up again. Every finance blog in the universe will tell you about the virtues of coupons and how you can save money or even get a bunch of stuff for free. (Someone should have mentioned this to the pirate lady with all the cat food. Also, this is a good example of why my blog is no longer purely finance.) For me, though, the hassle of finding, clipping, storing, remembering, carrying, and using the coupons is just more energy than I’m willing to expend. I don’t get mad when other people use coupons; I just don’t want to do it myself.
2. I shop when I’m hungry.
Everyone in the world says it. “OMG DON’T SHOP WHEN YOU’RE HUNGRY!” Well, you know what happens if I shop when I’m not hungry? I go home with two grocery bags, one of which contains toilet paper, and I have to go back to buy more stuff the next day. Since I hate going to Walmart, it makes far more sense for me to get enough stuff to last awhile. Shopping from a list is a new concept I’ve discovered, and it helps me buy the stuff I actually need instead of 15 bags of potato chips.
3. I don’t buy stuff just because it’s on sale.
Some of my friends dutifully check the sale items each week and plan their meals around the discounted meats and veggies. Um, I don’t do that. First of all, I’m too lazy to keep up. Second, I don’t buy the newspaper because ours comes out once a week and is about 4 pages of nonsense. Third (and this is the most important), I want to cook the things that (1) I actually know how to cook, (2) Jayden will eat, and (3) sound good to me at the time. You know, when I’m shopping on an empty stomach. I totally understand that sometimes it’s necessary to shop sales for financial reasons, and I feel very lucky that I don’t have to do that right now. That doesn’t mean I haven’t in the past or that I might not again in the future. But for now I’m enjoying the fact that I can pretty much buy what I want.
4. I buy processed foods.
I can hear the sharp intake of breath already! I don’t buy all processed food, especially since I started cooking more, but I do buy some things that are quick and easy to make. I also buy snack foods. Sue me. I’m glad there are people who make everything from scratch using organic locally-grown ingredients, but I’m not that person. I’m more mindful of the types and quantities of convenience food I buy these days, but my lifestyle will likely never evolve to the point that I cut out all processed stuff.
5. I would gladly pay a lot of money to have my groceries delivered.
I dream of the day when my tiny little town is advanced enough to have online grocery shopping with delivery. I would literally never set foot in Walmart again. I don’t even care what it would cost. Oh, you want $30 a week to bring food to my house? SOLD! You need a blood sacrifice? GRAB YOUR KNIFE AND PULL UP A CHAIR! I mean seriously, who wouldn’t want to avoid grocery stores (especially Walmart) for the rest of their lives?
Those are my grocery shopping confessions – what are yours? Anyone else HATE grocery shopping with a passion?