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Coming Up for Air

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Hi, guys! My name is Andrea. You may remember me as the person who used to post here at So Over This multiple times each week. Not that I’ve given up blogging – I’m not planning on going anywhere – but lately this place feels like a ghost town.

It’s hard to talk about my absence without whining. I can’t believe this year is nearly halfway over and I have spent nearly all of it freaking out and/or drowning in a series of crappy life events. I am behind in every way you can imagine and I feel like I’ll never catch up. And every time I think of a good post idea, which has been surprisingly often, I can’t even bring myself to get started because I am so overwhelmed.

My cousin has finally found a job after living on my couch for six months. (Though I’ll probably grow a second head before I see any of the thousands of dollars he owes me.) He’ll likely be here several more months while he catches up on his bills and saves for deposits. In the meantime, I’m repressing the urge to smother him while he sleeps. If a family member ever needs to stay with you, do yourself a favor and join the witness protection program. Not. Worth. It.

I have emails in my inbox from March that I still haven’t answered. March. I’m completely disgusted by my inability to just sit down and respond to people. I feel like there’s no excuse, yet I literally have not had time to scroll down that far in the list of messages. I’m behind on work, many of my clients are aggravated (with good reason), and I nearly cry every morning when I wake up and see more emails. I don’t know how to even begin to address this, so for now I’m continuing to avoid the issue.

I didn’t get to go on vacation like I planned, and I’ve already had to cancel a trip I had planned for August. With all the money I’ve spent keeping my cousin afloat so my grandfather doesn’t have to, I just can’t justify spending on travel. And, to be honest, despite making more in the first five months of 2013 than I made all year in 2012, I can’t afford to right now.

I am exhausted and I feel like utter shit. I’ve been dealing with some medical issues since last fall. I’ve tried my best not to talk about it – my own family doesn’t even know, and I plan on keeping it that way as long as possible. I’m not going to die or anything, but try telling my body that. I seriously think I could sleep for a month. I’m still exercising on the days I can stand it, because I do feel better when I get off my ass, but there are times it’s just impossible. And sleeping certainly doesn’t help me get caught up on work. I’ve had to give up several clients and provide a number of refunds because of this, which makes me feel even worse.

So, Yeah…

Everything sucks right now. I can look back over two years of blog posts and see other times when I’ve felt like this, and I know things will turn around eventually. Until then, though, I’m left with a big pile of problems and no good solutions. There are so many things I’d rather write about, and so many things I’d like to share that might actually be helpful to some of you, but right now I just can’t do it.

When all this gets better – because I HAVE to feel like it’s going to get better – I promise I’ll be back to posting on a semi-regular basis and will stop with this ridiculous woe-is-me crap. Sometimes I just need to use this blog for free therapy, and I appreciate you for being willing to put up with it.

About Andrea Whitmer

Andrea is a freelance web designer and single mom trying to maintain a sense of humor in an otherwise chaotic world. She blogs in hopes of helping others avoid the same mistakes she made in the past. Join in the discussion here on So Over This, or connect on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, or Google Plus. You can also subscribe to new posts via RSS so you never miss out!

Comments

  1. Wow girl, it sounds like you need to slow down, although from what you’ve said, if there was an easy way to do that, you would’ve already. All I can say is hold on, keep chugging, and try not to die while you white knuckle your way through this part of your life. We’ll still be here when you can find time to blog again. :)

  2. I hear ya on the health front and getting behind because of it or just not feeling like doing anything. Hope you find your answers and can improve things. If you need to talk about it or need some pointers let me know. Ive done things that have improved myself (or its just the drugs they gave me) and maybe they can help you out.

    Slow down and remember you are priority #1, without you everything else wont get done anyway :)

  3. Keep your head up! Keep fighting through it and you will make it. You have been inspirational in our financial journey over the past year. Let that provide you with encouragement. Things will turn around soon.

  4. Sorry to hear that you’re having such a tough time. It will get better and in the meantime there is chocolate…

  5. Wow, what is the saying , “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” (Alan Saunders).

    • jessika says:

      I’ve been checking to see when you were gonna post some more words of wisdom. I feel your pain. I too have been so stressed. Anxiety. Somedays its terrible I’ve even developed an eye twitch which added more to my stress. Hope things start turning around for you soon. :-)

  6. You can always vacation in Portland, dear. Airfare ain’t cheap, but you can’t beat the price of lodging! I even have a spare bedroom now.

  7. Hey, sometimes you just have to admit life is crap and whine about it a little. It’s the way of the world. Then during great times, you can dance jigs and write happy thoughts. But I think we’ve all had crap times. Good luck and please let me know if I can personally help in any way.

  8. I’m sorry! And here I am bothering you with emails. Just slap me!

  9. It will get better, hang in there kiddo!

  10. Catseye says:

    Well, at least you’re still alive, I was beginning to wonder! Please stop apologizing for having a real life with real problems and discussing said problems. Please take care of yourself as much as you can and get your cuz outta your house ASAP. One of the great things about NOT having a spare room is it makes it a lot harder for people to try to move in with you. ;o)

  11. Sending good vibes. I think it’s time to kick the cousin out. Give him a 4 week deadline to move. You come first. Period. You must prioritize your health and well-being. You are also a parent and need to be healthy and calm for your son. I’ve supported family before but there is always a point when they’ve go to go. Sadly, this is clearly that moment. Good luck!

  12. We are having totally opposite problems right now. My fear is not having enough money and I have too much time on my hands to completely freak out because work has DIED! And now my friend Dave (who I could help with personal assistant stuff) is kind of blowing me off so there goes an extra $600/month. If you need to hire me to take some things off your plate let me know. ha ha ha ha no I’m serious. :) I’m sorry you had to cancel your trips. :( I hope things smooth out soon…and I also know how health issues can be a major stress and concern. I’ve had to stop treatment on my shoulders because I’m terrified of my e-fund dwindling down to nothing.

  13. So sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed! But you’re right, things WILL get better because they have to! Life can’t suck forever. Hope you feel better soon. Miss seeing your around the blogosphere.

  14. I hope things get better!

  15. I am sorry you have been struggling. Its seems like when it rains, it pours. I hope things get easier for you soon. Hang in there!

  16. It will get better! I am sorry you have to deal with all of this. It’s not easy, by the sounds of it. Try to get enough sleep and take some time for yourself.

  17. I hope you feel better soon and get back on track. Real life has a wonderful way of kicking our asses in cycles, doesn’t it? :)

    Also – “If a family member ever needs to stay with you, do yourself a favor and join the witness protection program. Not. Worth. It.” TRUTH! Or friends for that matter. We’re dealing with this right now. I’m not sure why we continue to torture ourselves with roommates.

  18. Re: relatives. No joke – don’t do it. I let my sibling come back home to live years ago and the worthless bum hasn’t left since. I regret it to this day.

    Re: your health: You have all my empathy on this. I’ve been fatigued (medically) for like, five years now and there’s nothing that makes me turn the hate-o-meter more than dragging my ass out of bed for Yet Another Day when I feel like someone unplugged me overnight and let my batteries run out. I hope you have a diagnosis but in the meantime, good nutritious food helps. Not much, but it does make a bit of a difference and at some point, every tiny bit helps.

  19. Sorry to hear things are super stressful right now- you can get through it, though! Sending prayers and good vibes, and hoping things turn around soon!

  20. Hang in there. All of life moves in seasons. Trust me.

  21. Yikes! I am so sorry things are in the dumps right now. I’m really hoping the good is speeding at you!

  22. Take a deep breath and remember… life is just like the economy – cyclical! Good luck!

  23. Oh gosh, thank you for sharing with us all very honestly! Please don’t worry about my email or requests; you definitely have bigger things on your plate to worry about.

    And I think the exercise and taking off Sundays will do you a world of good. Hang in there!

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