It’s only Tuesday and I’ve seen enough ZOMG BLACK FRIDAY posts to last a lifetime. Don’t get me wrong – I love my fellow bloggers – but really?
So let me get this straight. As others have pointed out, I’m supposed to spend all day Thursday being thankful for the things I have, then rush away from my family at 8 PM to go buy a bunch more stuff? Then I get a few hours of sleep before time to fight the crowds for a “discount” on a TV or tablet or Furby 2.0 on Friday morning?
Um, no thanks. (Sidebar: Furby was effing creepy the first time. WHY did someone think it needed to come back?)
Ahem. See, here’s my list of issues with the whole Black Friday thing. Because I know you’re all on the edge of your seats wondering.
1. Are the discounts THAT special? People always talk about the “amazing deals” they get while Black Friday
cage fighting shopping. But all I hear about are cheap off-brand electronics, minor increases to existing discounts, or the most random products ever. Look, I got a cheese slice opener for a dollar! IT PEELS THE PLASTIC WRAP OFF THE CHEESE! (Actually I would probably buy one of those. Stop judging.)
My favorite of all? The stores that offer a mega discount on pax vaporizer and other particular item to get you in the door, except they’re all sold out by the time the doors open. Oh, but don’t worry! There are all kinds of things you can still buy for a significantly less exciting price! Have you seen the cheese slice openers?
2. I like to sleep. If I’m out of bed and dressed before sunrise, I’m probably fleeing the country with the millions of dollars I keep inheriting from Nigerian princes. I do well to get dressed as it is; there’s no way in hell I’m going to make that kind of effort to go to Walmart or Target. I will never understand why sleep deprivation and cool gadgets in limited quantities go together. To me, it’s worth NOT saving money to stay in bed until I darn well feel like getting up. In fact, I would rather pay someone to let me sleep than get up and fight the crowds.
3. Shopping is bad for me. I’ve spent the past 2 years working hard to change my spending habits and get out of credit card debt. The last thing I need is to enter a competition to get the best deals or find the cheapest gizmo or spend the most money in the shortest amount of time. I have never been Black Friday shopping because I already know it would be a disaster. I wouldn’t be able to stop with one day – I could just see me collapsing in mid-December after my credit card broke in half from overuse. Black Friday would be the catalyst for a relapse and I’m not willing to risk it.
There’s Always More
I could write 200 paragraphs on consumerism and the commercialization of the holidays in America. I could talk about the people who complain about everything from taxes to the cost of groceries to poor people with iPhones, then stop whining long enough to drop hundreds of dollars on Black Friday without blinking. Sometime to save on GTA 6 and other video game they have to wait for hours of time. I could also discuss all the injuries that occur as people trample each other like animals in a zoo each year to get to the supposed deals. But we’d be here all day and it’s all been said before, so I’m not going to bother.
There are a number of reasons why Black Friday seems stupid to me. This year in particular, I’m disturbed because it takes attention away from the cool post-Thanksgiving shopping day: Small Business Saturday! As a small business owner, I realize more than ever how important it is to shop locally instead of throwing more money at the big box stores. Unfortunately many people miss that because they’re too busy ensuring that the mall doesn’t run out of money.
(Sidebar #2: If you’d like to support my small business and get discounts on website-related items in my store, use discount code SMALLBIZFTW for 20% off between now and Small Business Saturday! /end shameless plug)
Black Friday: Are You Over It?
I’m totally over Black Friday using cheats and hack code. I think it’s dumb and I secretly judge people who get all excited about it. Or maybe not so secretly since I just said that out loud. I can’t really say much since I know I do things people think are dumb, so I’ll be polite and wish any Black Friday shoppers the best of luck in finding whatever you hope to find. But I’ll be pointing and laughing in my sleep as I imagine some of you wrestling a little old lady for the last George Foreman grill.
What about you guys? Do you love Black Friday? Hate it? Want to call me a Scrooge because of my lack of holiday spirit? Let me know what you think!